To my beloved readers,
It has come to my attention that I truly am a terrible writer. Hence, I plan to change how I write. My “style” (as if I had one) won’t be any different, ‘though the manner of editing will. On a single day, I shall write as much as I can. I’ll leave it as a draft for a week, come back to it, and edit it. This one week absence followed by editing shall repeat until I am completely satisfied with it. This brings me to my saddest volume of this entry. This blog may be on hiatus for weeks, or even months on end. High-quality content will not suffice from now on. This would mean that I may have to scrap some entries that I would have worked on for weeks. I’m working on entry about love; it’s going to take a while before I put it out. It would probably be published on the first days of January, but only if the weeks leading up to it are favourable.
I implore you to watch this. I’ve been listening to this whilst contemplating on the train ride back from uni for the past week.
And yet another one bites the dust. I don’t remember how many sites I’ve setup and deleted since my stay in WordPress. As always, it was with a heavy heart that I had to kill one of my babies.
P.S. I’m working on a new entry and will probably have it out by next week. That is if I am able to put down this book that’s never left my clutch. I’ve been reading Shadow of Night fyi.
I got my grade from my professor, and I’m fairly happy with it! If only I submitted my final paper on time, I would’ve probably gotten a 3.5. Well, I can’t really bend my grades in my department nor would I want to. Anyway, this means that I can go ahead and write with a clear and relaxed mind! Unless I fail in German4, that would just be crap.
SO! Let me tell you about this girl that I insanely like and have lost attraction towards after one evening. She’s the type that people would ignore at first sight. Were you thinking of love at first sight? She’s pretty much invisible, until you let her speak or until she wants to speak. She’s extremely intelligent, probably the most intelligent out of our entire European Studies batch. I’ve known her for a year, but I’ve only gotten to talk to her this year.
I told my friend, let’s call her Tänzerin, about this newfound attraction of mine. Tänzerin knows my type of girls that I’m attracted to: very Asian looking, extremely pretty, extremely white–basically Japanese, Korean or Chinese girls who are overly attractive. This girl whom I am insanely attracted to, let’s call her Dil Pickles (Rugrats, for those who don’t know,) is the total opposite of my usual Asian-white-girl attraction. Continue reading
So. A couple of days ago, I promised to publish this entry about this relationship I have with this girl (whom I insanely like by the way), rediscovery of self-love, and Buddhism. BUT I CAN’T! Why? I’m waiting for my professor in International Organisations to give the grades out. He said that he would release it yesterday, then postponed it this morning, then moved it to tonight. Still, nothing. So until I know how badly I’ve done, I won’t be able write with a relaxed mind.
Guess who’s back in the blogosphere? That’s right! Me! So Imma make a post in a couple of hours about a relationship I have with this girl, rediscovery of self-love, and Buddhism. I’m officially on vacation now, so the amount of posts will rocket! It’s great to be back! It’s great to be able to write what I want once again. Baby, I AM BACK.
DEAR TAPAT AND SANTUGON,
I passed by your “miting de avance” expecting no more from you, and you’ve met my criteria for low standards. Yes, once again you’ve disappointed me. You stood there, rallying your troops in hopes to convince those who are in the Ampitheatre that you are the better option. Your parties’ population combined was literally more than twice the potential voters who sat, interestingly, between the two parties, acting as a buffer. Your meeting and efforts were practically useless in my opinion. Please, don’t give me that hopeful thought of “Those who were there will spread our ideas and platforms” because they won’t. They’ll probably forget about them when they get home only because there are more important matters to take care of than trying to remember the candidates for college batch president, whose name must have been echoed over and over–to a point where the bearers think of themselves at the third person. Sure enough, you’ll immediately throw Article III Section 4 of the 1987 Constitution (I can hear you googling); I’ll give you credit for that, but just partially since you seem to be taking advantage of it. Speaking of echoing, why are you so intent on getting your own party to echo your ideas–literally echo what you’ve just said. Aren’t you supposed to convince the potential voters? I’ve seen these buffer people; they were most probably sitting there thinking, “Oh, this is rather entertaining. I’m glad I came here to kill time,” or perhaps, “Why are they saying it again? I heard you the first time.” One thing is sure; they were just sitting. I swear, the most enthusiastic people at the “meeting” were those coming from your own parties. You are well aware that your own parties support you, so why excite them more than they already are? You know they’ll vote for the party they represent. Go for the voters for crying out loud! In fact, before initiating the Miting de Avance, make sure that the people who matter the most are the majority. And if you haven’t figured that out by now, they’re the voters. If your current strategies don’t convince the voters otherwise, you should know something’s not right. I’m not saying that you’re doing it wrong–wait. No. I am saying that you are doing it wrong. Just because COMELEC doesn’t set the ‘right’ parameters on how to do your campaign that doesn’t give you the incentive to act like beheaded chickens. Surely, you have the resources to produce original plans. So what if your strategies have been tried and tested! Sir Ken Robinson back in his 2006 TED talk said, “If you’re not prepared to be wrong, you’ll never come up with anything original.” Common sense, innovativeness, courage, and creativity seem to have been muted from your repetitive ‘howling technique’. My professors, who spent more years teaching than being an undergrad at DLSU, are always annoyed each time you knock at their doors. Please, don’t think that you’re not bothering us when you are granted permission to campaign in our rooms, because you are a bother.
A friend of mine said that the independent candidate has the most realistic platforms out of all of you; unfortunately, I have not had the pleasure to meet this person. [If you're interested in his platform, click here.] You can see what you can achieve when you look at students at uni from a different perspective—especially when you see them as students. Get your eyes out of those shades of yellow and orange, and see what the students need and NOT what you THINK the students need.
Official logo of the French Republic, used exclusively by its government and prefectures. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Today, we had a United Nations simulation on the motion of ‘Replacing Cap and Trade with Mandatory Carbon Emissions Reductions for high polluting and industrialized countries.’ I represented France in the Security Council, and here were my speeches. Oh, I was vetoed 4:1. We lost, big time.
It is within our interest to progress even further as an industrialised state. Although, we cannot ignore the fact that the lands of millions of our brothers will be taken by the tide caused by rising sea levels. The risk of monetary gain is minuscule compared to the price that these small islands would have to face. Our belief still stands: Liberty. Equality. Fraternity.
France stands on the principle of equality. Tax exemption and carbon credits to industries and states by cap and trade is unconstitutional. The new proposed solution to the reduction of carbon emissions aligns with our principle of equality. The inability to purchase carbon credits to be used for industrialisation is not equality. France agrees to this solutions since it is beneficial to the Group of South-Pacific Islands through long-term economic gain. If nobody will save our brothers, who will?
Question from the professor:
Are you willing to take these people as part your state when their land disappears?
We will accept them as refugees. We will not erase their identity as members of their own state and risk them losing their sovereignty.
I’ve been neglecting my blog for a long long time. The drafts I’ve written are so old, I don’t even remember how I wanted to end them. What kept me from coming here was uni. We’ve been reading around 80 pages a day, and even more for this week and the next, because our midterms is coming up. I’m supposed to focus myself on academics, but I always wonder off to wanting a relationship. How low of me, eh? That’s not the only thing, I’ve been getting really frustrated with how routined my daily life is. Everyday, I do the same thing, and there isn’t a way that I could change it up a bit. I spend most of my time in the library during breaks just to read what my professors gave us. I get home and do the same, I commute and I do the same. I’m slowly turning into this well-oiled machine that seems to enjoy masochism. I’m just really tired of all these personal problems that I can’t solve. Give me something, anything. I know true happiness is difficult to achieve, I just want to know that it’s still out there.
What you see above was a current work-in-progress, as I would always love to show my beloved readers transparency in my work. What’s totally different this time is the application I used to write my posts. Many of you may not know, I got my MacBook back in early 2009 and I’ve used Apache OpenOffice as my text editing/writing application since then. The only reason why I didn’t get Microsoft Office was because it was EXTREMELY expensive—the cost of running Mac OS X I suppose. However, I realised I needed a much more powerful word processor to get a certain feeling of satisfaction and gratification. Compared to OpenOffice, MS Word is a dream to work with, I must say. You may think that this isn’t such a big deal, but for a liberal arts student, whose life is mainly made up of journals, articles and papers written with OpenOffice, this is a gift from heaven. I honestly feel like I can stretch my wings.
Through the Looking Glass
Do you know the feeling of getting intoxicated to the point where it’s like you’re not in your own body? I can’t fully explain how it is, but I find myself controlling a body through some sort of video-game. All right, let’s move over there and not hit anything along the way. Take your foot off the chair, someone’s sitting on it. Let’s get another drink, it’ll be fun. Don’t talk too loud, people are looking. That’s what I tell myself when I’m not myself. I figure it’s like being on auto-pilot. I kind of felt that way a couple of days ago when I woke up and looked at the mirror. Although, the only difference is that I wasn’t pissed-drunk. I stared at the mirror as the sun struck my eyes, and I didn’t see the person that I thought was peering back. I felt different, terrible, detached even. I didn’t feel like I was living in my body or rather I was living in a body that I didn’t want to have. I felt disgusted when I looked at the mirror; I took a long shower to “wash away” what was left of me. I don’t know what I’ve become.
Attempting to define an emotion is like playing a violin with a carrot. It’s possible, but it’s not always spot on. Anyway, I wouldn’t want to write this entry like a paper for uni as much as possible.
Let me tell you how my day started. I woke up from a dream that got me all shaken up; as I recall, I was getting late for my first class. As I sat up on my bed, I realised, “It’s a Saturday. I hate myself.” I peered over my shoulder and glanced at the clock. 8:00, it tells me. I slept for 8 hours, two-days-in-a-row! That’s a luxury I would love to have. Oh, if only I could. I gave the clock a little smile and looked out the window. “Well, isn’t the sun shining ever so pleasantly this day. It’s probably going to be a good day.” I decided that I’d take a picture of how the trees were looking inexplicably beautiful.
As I came down the stairs with my camera at hand, my mum was at her laptop. She was probably chatting with some of her friends on Facebook (as she always does.) She told me to get the laundry before she left for the gym. “Okay,” I said.
Trees out back