Summer’s end (poem)

I wrote this at school :P

 

Through this stained hour glass of impending sorrow,

Bliss awaits the near triumphant end

Why o’ why must the laughter of children be heard after the cries of mourning men

Ears and eyes drown in the broken sonnet that seeps from their empty hearts

O’ how I lust for the day when the scent of a woman enchants me from this cold crooked ground and into the orange soothing sky

O’ how I lust for the day of Summer’s end.

It’s a love-hate thang

So yeah… I just saw this brilliant movie, and…. well it’s beyond brilliant. It’s one of the best western romantic-comedies I’ve ever seen.

Although it is fantastic and fresh (obviously, I mean hello??? A Sundance entry man!) I hate it :P For very very personal reasons. It really felt like I was Tom in that movie, so it really really hit me hard. I really love the movie, but at the same time I hate.

So like Tom was much more expressive than I was. He really didn’t care if other people see him as a wreck, unlike me I hide it so other people wouldn’t worry for a person like me :P

So yeah… I’m still in my days of summer. And following the movie, autumn will never come if summer is still here. Soooooooo…. Yeah, the movie is kinda like a manual for me isn’t it? :))

I’ll be looking forward to more of these brilliant movies :P Mainly the French ones :))

5 reasons why I hate women

1. Clothes – women have a TON of fantabulous clothes. Like these for example:

and what do men have? Shirts and jeans :| Only Miyavi can beat women in fashion :p

2. Makeup :P – I can’t seem to buy makeup without getting the “he’s-a-fag-stare” I mean what’s to wrong about a straight guy looking to buy makeup or window shopping women’s apparel? I mean women go to the guy’s section and no one gives a fuck about it, oh I know why, it’s because they’re women isn’t it???? BUNCH OF SEXIST BASTARDS!

Anyway… the reason why I find makeup amazing is because it can turn and ordinary woman into a princess. Plus, it’s really beautiful. Kinda hard to explain actually :)) I love it because it’s fun, it’s art, it makes me and the person (guy or girl) feel good and it’s FUN :D

3. Shoes/footwear – HOMEGEHD! I can’t even decide where to start @-) I find women’s footwear to be very elegant, very beautiful and very exquisite etc. etc. I mean come on, can you say “no” to this?

When I see an excellent pair of heels, I would know it is (excellent). Because an excellent pair of heels, to me, is like a very sexy woman. She’s got the curves, she’s got beauty, and she’s got style :p Although wearing heels is a pain Dx I think, for what’s it worth, it’s worth it. Oh But it’s just not “heels” that I’m in to, it’s the whole range of footwear, but I love “heels” the best :))

4. Bags (it’s always about fashion isn’t it?) Hmmmmmm… I like FINO (since that’s what my mom seems to like as well :)) ), Louis Vuitton, Chanel. Burberry, Prada, Gucci….. So far only that :)) I’m new to bags so do forgive me :P But I like those bags that have urban designs on them, but it’s not just those cheap “slap-on” designs you see in Greenhills or Divisoria. But although there are a lot of fantastic bags for men, I like the designs for women as well.

5. When women wear guy clothes, it’s ok, or even really really hot, jut like Horikita Maki :D

isn’t she fantabulously hot with a black MALE blazer. (I can tell it’s a guy’s blazer, I have good eyes). It’s unfair for guys, cause if guys wear girl clothes, they’d look terrible Dx. You’d have to look like a girl to wear girl clothes properly.

*last two pics are old pics, pulled them out of storage and I can’t remember where they came from :|

So yeah…. you could say I’m fashionably gay

Magical pixie dust? Or boots with anti-gravity?

This is a pretty old entry, one month I think?

pic from http://www.tattoodesignshop.com/images/angel-wings-tattoos2.jpg

I don’t know why I try… I thought I could stop myself… I just couldn’t. You just draw me closer and closer, and you don’t even know it :| although… I don’t want you know… It’s stupid I know… Why don’t I want you to know? It’s the same reason why don’t want to fall in love… I’m just not ready… It hurts (it’s kinda hard to explain) and I made a vow to myself. If can’t fix my life, the life which I messed up myself, then I can’t… It sounds stupid, but what I’ve done to all those people is even worse. I can’t find peace within myself, not until I sort all of this out. To be honest… I don’t even know how long that’ll take, it could take years even never…

The reason why I’m so scared is because, I just can’t stop falling for you :| everyday I think of a way to make you smile or laugh, and it makes me happy that you do. I’m really happy that I could make you smile or laugh or whatever, yet… There’s always a feeling of regret afterward… You could say that, the moments I spend with you are bittersweet.

I like you hell lot, I like you so much I already let you into my life without me knowing it :| and it fucking hurts, cause I can’t move forward from where I stand (…where I stand in the relationship between us)

But who knows… maybe it’s just infatuation…

I close my ears and listen

Listening to Kyo and his music and lyrics makes me wish I was a girl, then I can orgasm all I want =)))))

“Drawing the vague meeting that he had been watching

Why is he trembling?

From the feeling that rises up, the boy

Shoots arrows of sound in the changing sky

 

Why is the regret still running?

Somewhere far away the voice of a promise

It cannot be heard it anymore.

 

Still guessing shapes, it disappears

Even now, his heart is taken away and the scars from the chain burned on

The voice that I had hated Here, alone

 

Why is the regret still running?

Somewhere far away the voice of a promise

It cannot be heard it anymore.

 

This is my pledge to you

 

I still can’t live well.

What I can change is only–

 

Even if tomorrow forces me to live

My days will not change

I can’t say it anymore

 

If you are going to rip up

The voice and the dreams that I build up, then answer me

No one will be forgiven

But it can’t be said. It can’t be said. It can’t be said.”

 

-Kyo of Dir en grey.

 

FOREVER FORNEVER

 

This entry gave an idea @-)

This is my drug, don’t take it away

Her green plastic watering can
For her fake Chinese rubber plant
In the fake plastic earth.
That she bought from a rubber man
In a town full of rubber plans
To get rid of itself.
It wears her out, it wears her out
It wears her out, it wears her out.

She lives with a broken man
A cracked polystyrene man
Who just crumbles and burns.
He used to do surgery
For girls in the eighties
But gravity always wins.
And it wears him out, it wears him out.
It wears him out, it wears . . .

She looks like the real thing
She tastes like the real thing
My fake plastic love.
But I can’t help the feeling
I could blow through the ceiling
If I just turn and run.
And it wears me out, it wears me out.
It wears me out, it wears me out.

And if I could be who you wanted
If I could be who you wanted
All the time, all the time.
Oh, oh.

Maybe…… :) (it’s not maybe anymore)

Maybe… just maybe… you might be my little Tinkerbell :p

looks like I was wrong. I should be feeling happy right now… but I can’t…….. I got too attached. And now it hurts… I should really stop now, before it really kills me. I seriously can’t believe I had my hopes up :| I will never expect anything anymore. period.

Capitulus tria: puter propter promissio

pic from here

So I was suppose to write my brilliant yet ridiculously stupid idea about “God” today plus another “Quote in a day”, but something else came up (obviously).

So as the title suggests “puter propter promissio” translated properly means “rotting because of a promise”.

I think I wrote something about keeping a promise.

And to be honest…

That promise is holding me back in EVERYTHING

Basically, I can’t move forward in life, not until I fulfil my promise.

I know I sound depressed and miserable and depressed..

But it’ll be worse if I don’t keep that promise.

Imagine… you had no choice but to kill yourself, because if you didn’t, every single person who is precious to you, every single person who you shared a part of your life with, every single person who you love, will die.

That’s how I feel right now.

But that’s not the reason why I keep it.

The reason is because I think I find it unfair for me to move on without fixing my life.

I’ve hurt a lot of people around me.

And I plan to fix that..

Cause right now..

It’s killing me..

I wouldn’t give a shit about it if I were the same person back then..

But I’ve totally changed now.

And it’s killing me.

But it’s better this way.

I plan to fulfil my promise.

Even if it takes a lifetime, and no I don’t mean it metaphorically.

 

FOREVER FORNEVER

It’s crazy, but it just might be true.

pic from this url

So many, if not all, of you know that I’m not Christian/Roman Catholic, it’s just written on paper and that’s it. I am neither an Atheist, Agnostic, Deist nor (definitely) a religious nonconformist. To be honest I don’t know what I am :P I’m still trying to find out actually, I thought I was Deist, but there are some characteristics of a Deist that I do not posses and/or do not agree with :)) it’s complex :P Anyway… I spend lots and lots of time trying to figure out if “God” does exist or trying to prove that “God” doesn’t exist. But one day, an idea popped into my head, and I was astounded by the idea, an in fact I was kinda excited. It isn’t a “theory” on the non-existence of “God” but rather, how “God” was created by man, AND I MEAN CREATED by man. And here’s a hint, man’s intention for creating such, is good. For so long we’ve heard about how man created “God” and why, but it’s always been in the negative sense. My idea is different, and the best part is, it CAN happen. :D

I’ll be posting my idea as soon as possible, I just some time to gather my thoughts before writing :P

If you can guess what the picture above is, then you’ve got another hint :P But it’ll still be kinda hard to figure it out :))

Stupid philosophy 101

Pic from http://verleih.polyfilm.at/how_arnold_won_the_west/arnold%20thumbs%20up.jpg

So I’m gonna start this thing called “Stupid philosophy 101″ basically it’s the things I come up spontaneously that are SO STUPID yet makes a little sense :P

So yesterday I was up talking to Kuro-chan and we just talk about anything and everything :)) then I suddenly, I had an “enlightenment”

me: “WAIT WAIT WAIT!!!! I JUST CAME UP WITH SOMETHING STUPID! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!”

Kuro-chan: “Putang ina!!! =)) Anong katarantaduhan naman yan!!!! =)) “

me: “YOU CAN’T SPELL DISCOVERIES WITHOUT OVARIES :> “

Kuro-chan: ” :| …..”

me: ” :> :> :> “

Kuro: “GAGO!!!! =))))))))) “

me: “=))))))))) “

and as they say, the rest was history :)) Though it was later on I realized that you CAN spell it without “ovaries” cause it’s not spelt as “ovEries” =))