I wish my eyes were lying to me

I saw something that I did not wish to see. I had the choice of seeing it or not, but I felt I needed to see it. So I did. Then at that point in time, I wished my eyes were lying to me. I wish I could’ve unseen what was seen, but no.

Now I’m feeling really pathetic, apathetic, melancholic, empty…

Funny… ’cause a few minutes ago I felt rage and jealousy

Then as I juggle between my wordpress and my tumblr, the meme “forever alone” shows up there (tumblr). When it first came out, it was funny as hell, unfortunately, it’s different this time. It hit me hard. It hit me really, really hard.

I still can’t get what I just saw. And what makes me even more pathetic is, I have a mixtape playlist on my iTunes called “let’s emote”. From the name itself you can tell the tracks are for emoting. But it isn’t My Chemical Romance etc. etc. I’ve got excellent taste in music eg, Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley and Fake Plastic Tress acoustic by Radiohead and of course, When she loved me by Sarah MacLachlan.

Sigh

Now that I know, now that I’ve stopped speculating, I don’t know what to do. I need counselling. I need someone to talk to for once…. I’ve always been the listener to those with problems.

They say, the one way to mend a heart broken by love is by loving another. I find that extremely hard to do…

I don’t know who you are, all I know is you’re name, but I have no choice but to trust you, for that person’s sake.

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