Waking up to See Reality

Through the Looking Glass

Do you know the feeling of getting intoxicated to the point where it’s like you’re not in your own body? I can’t fully explain how it is, but I find myself controlling a body through some sort of video-game. All right, let’s move over there and not hit anything along the way. Take your foot off the chair, someone’s sitting on it. Let’s get another drink, it’ll be fun. Don’t talk too loud, people are looking. That’s what I tell myself when I’m not myself. I figure it’s like being on auto-pilot. I kind of felt that way a couple of days ago when I woke up and looked at the mirror. Although, the only difference is that I wasn’t pissed-drunk. I stared at the mirror as the sun struck my eyes, and I didn’t see the person that I thought was peering back. I felt different, terrible, detached even. I didn’t feel like I was living in my body or rather I was living in a body that I didn’t want to have. I felt disgusted when I looked at the mirror; I took a long shower to “wash away” what was left of me. I don’t know what I’ve become.

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