Arranged union

I have a friend whom I just recently parted ways with. She was an international student, and she needed to get back to her home country.

I would say that our upbringing is somewhat similar. We both grew up in a country that did not “match” our ethnicity. Even though we are similar, our views of our motherland is different. She wasn’t born in the country where her parents were from, but she finds love and attraction to that country. I was born here in the Philippines, raised in England till I was 10, then lived here in the Philippines since then but have no love or attraction for this country.

Don’t over generalise and say, “This guy hates everything about the Philippines.” No. I do not hate. I just do not love it. However, I do love my friends and experiences that I’ve created.

I’ve lived in this country for over 17 years, yet I have not grown to love it. Here’s the question. Is it wrong of me not to love something that was arranged for me? I may be genetically coded to be a Filipino, but does that mean that I should be a Filipino? I’ve seen too much dirt in this country that it’s impossible to see the beauty.

If people can undergo sex reassignment surgery because they feel like they were born with the wrong parts, I should be entitled to change my own identity to what I believe I am.

I am the least culturally​ Filipino person you’ll ever meet. I tell this to all my friends with confidence and gusto not because I feel egotistic but because I know who I am. I will not lie about my heritage or lack thereof of it. I am not Filipino because the culture I grew up with was not Filipino, and the culture I follow is not Filipino. 

People may call me brainwashed or a traitor, but that will only push me away even more.

I don’t know what I am. I do know that the answer to that problem is not in this country. 

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